7 Hobbies You'd Better Think Twice About - New York News

7 Hobbies You'd Better Think Twice About

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By tadserralta, YouTube. 1. By tadserralta, YouTube. 1.

By: Tim Torkildson, Deseret News Service

A hobby is a great way to relieve stress and develop new interests that will invigorate your life. There are many inexpensive and safe hobbies that you can take up. However, there are some hobbies that you might want to give a second thought to before trying them:

  1. Cooking with gunpowder. Gourmets will tell you that a soupcon of black powder on grilled meat is a delectable taste experience. It’s all those nitrates in the mixture. But you’d be surprised how many people are injured each year by exploding hamburgers.
  2. Raising piranhas. With their bulging eyes and protruding teeth, they certainly look interesting. And they are not fussy about their food; anything that moves is fair game. What you may not realize is that these feisty little critters can jump right out of their tank and land in your easy chair, where they will wait patiently for you to come home and seat yourself with the remote. Your first click had better be the Emergency Room Channel.
  3. Steeplejacking. Yes, this is a real profession; there are paid professionals who climb up tall, steep church steeples to make repairs. As a hobby, though, it is inadvisable. Not because of the danger involved, you understand; mountain climbing is just as dangerous. No, it’s because the steeplejacks have such a strong union. If you get caught steeplejacking without a union card they simply throw you off the nearest steeple with a cheery "Happy Landing!"
  4. Vampire watching. We all know there is no such thing as an undead being that lives on the blood of humans. It’s pure, unadulterated balderdash. So why spend countless hours and streams of cash on such an asinine pursuit? Sure, vampires are pretty popular in today’s culture – and you may get some satisfaction from just being with your fellow nitwits looking for vampires. But lemme ask you something: What are you going to do if you DO find one? Take its picture and send it to National Geographic? And remember, most health insurance plans do not cover Dracula-inflicted trauma.
  5. Earthworm racing. It might be fun to raise a stable of thoroughbred earthworms – but just remember that THEY ONLY MOVE UNDERGROUND. How much fun can it be to watch them by radar or x-ray?
  6. Homeopathic winemaking. You wave the grapes over a vat of purified water, wave a sack of sugar over the same vat, and then wave a packet of yeast over the exact same vat. Wait a few weeks and then bottle your vintage. I guess this is pretty harmless, until you start claiming you can taste the bouquet and start acting like a sommelier; then it’s time to cart you off to the laughing academy.
  7. Collecting dust. I used to do this in grade school; at least, that’s what my teachers told me in exasperation. Anyway. What would you have after twenty years of collecting dust from different corners of the earth? Just dust. It doesn’t change or increase in value. You can’t sell it on eBay. On the other hand, if you wanted to collect dust pans . . . well, that’s completely different! Allow me to show you my excellent assortment, starting with this brass specimen from 17th century Holland . . .



Original Post

Copyright 2013 Deseret Digital Media, Inc.

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