What says "love" in your marriage? - New York News

What says "love" in your marriage?

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By: Wendy Jessen, FamilyShare



"Actions speak louder than words." In a marriage, this is definitely true. There are many ways to show your spouse you love her, and most of them are not strictly verbal. By showing, not just telling, your spouse that you love her, you will make a strong marriage that can outlast relationship obstacles.

Show your love by listening. Make an effort to give your spouse undivided attention when he needs to talk to you. Whether it's venting work frustrations, talking about the kids or sharing something else important to him, be sure to listen with interest. Caring about his feelings, frustrations and about what he needs to say is a big way to say you love your spouse.

Help your spouse with tasks. You and your spouse are more than lovers you are life partners. Helping each other with the house, the kids, yardwork, work projects or other duties is key to a good relationship. As you share each other's workload, not only does it lessen the work for your partner, but it helps you to understand what she is going through while dealing with day-to-day tasks. Jobs aren't necessarily labeled "his" and "hers." We should help each other out and also teach our children to do the same.

Support and have sympathy. Just because you have married the love of your life does not mean that your marriage, you or your spouse are free from hardships. Health concerns, death of loved ones, employment struggles or other trials can be difficult to handle - especially without love and support. As you are the rock that your spouse can rely on, it will deepen your love for each other, strengthen your trust of one another and, ultimately, help your spouse get through the difficulty. Being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or just being the person who is there regardless of the struggle means a lot and shows love.

Be thoughtful. Doing things that are thoughtful for your spouse is a great way to show love. Leaving a love note, telling him how much you appreciate all he does, helping without being asked, bringing home flowers or washing the car are a few ways to be thoughtful. Also, consider your spouse's schedule or feelings when scheduling a girls' night or going to a movie with the guys. You should be thoughtful and considerate when you make plans to avoid conflict or hurt feelings.

Never put down your spouse. It is hard to be criticized, especially by someone you love the most. If a change needs to be made, make sure you express it with love and concern. Also, complement what she is doing well or areas where she is making improvements. Much more can be accomplished by speaking positively to and about your spouse than being negative.

Take time for date nights. Scheduling time to be alone together makes your spouse feel loved, desired, important and appreciated. Decide what to do together or surprise your spouse with a carefully planned-out evening. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy. Take a walk, go to dinner, make a picnic, go camping or just go somewhere to be alone are some ideas for date nights. Not only does this show your spouse your love, but it also strengthens your marriage.

Stick together even when times get rough. Part of marriage is learning to make it work even when it gets difficult. You may have fights and be mad, but make a point to apologize, find solutions and work together. It speaks volumes when your spouse doesn't just give up when the going gets tough. Most problems can be worked through, and the result is a stronger bond. Brush up on those communication skills, and show love to your spouse by being ready to fight for your marriage. Here are some keys on having a triumphant marriage.

True love takes work and genuine concern for each other. It doesn't just happen by chance. Listening, working together, being thoughtful and spending time together shows love more than words can fully express. Love is evident in partners that support each other regardless of the circumstances. Often, it is the actions, not just words, which say "I love you."


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Copyright 2013 Deseret Digital Media, Inc.

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