When all you see is red: Overcoming feelings of hatred - New York News

When all you see is red: Overcoming feelings of hatred

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By Shutterstock.com. Hatred can be overcome only by love. -Mahatma Gandhi By Shutterstock.com. Hatred can be overcome only by love. -Mahatma Gandhi

By: Courtnie Erickson, FamilyShare

Hatred, a strong dislike for another person or thing, can easily tear us down. It can consume our day-to-day thoughts. It can turn happy moments into dark and dreary ones. It can even consume our entire personality and turn us into someone that others no longer want to be around.

Many of us have experienced these dark, bitter feelings. Unfortunately, many of these feelings occur between family members. Siblings, a married couple, even parents and children may have hateful feelings toward one another.

I've seen what hatred can do to relationships. Hurtful actions and words have been the catalyst for bitter and hateful feelings to enter family relationships. As you begin to fill your heart with hate, it is easier to let more of it in. To stop these feelings and keep your relationships strong, here are several ways you can overcome feelings of hatred, bitterness and vengeance.

Forgive

If you want to escape hate, you must be willing to forgive. Hate comes in a variety of forms. These feelings can stem toward your family, a physical item or even yourself. If you are not willing to let an incident, a conversation or an action go, you are setting yourself up for even more heartache. If incidents continually occur between you and another individual, communicate with one another. Let that individual know how you feel before it is too late. The farther down the road to hatred you travel, the harder it is to forgive and make amends. Here are other ways forgiveness frees you from anger.

Accept things you cannot change

There are many things in life you cannot control. You cannot control another individual's actions and events that have already occurred. When situations, words and other events bring bitterness, contention and discord into your life, carefully analyze the situation. Is there anything in the situation you can change? If the answer is no, accept it. Move on. Don't dwell on the situation and build up feelings of anger and resentment because you can't do anything about it.

Serve

Service is one of the easiest and greatest ways to bring love into your heart. If you have feelings of anger toward another individual, find ways to serve him. This can be particularly important if you have a family relationship that is straining. When you are willing to give a little, you will often receive a little in return.

Be patient

Hatred is a deep and strong emotion. It is not something that can disappear overnight. In many situations, hatred takes time to dissolve. It takes a significant amount of effort to push those harsh and destructive feelings aside.

The first step to overcoming hatred is to realize you have these feelings in your heart. Then, you must put forth the effort to eliminate them. This takes time. It takes work. Be patient and praise yourself for any small milestones you may reach.

Understand everyone is different

Every person is different. We each endure numerous experiences that help shape our beliefs, our thoughts, our pet peeves, our likes and our dislikes. No two people will agree on everything and those disagreements and differences in personality can cause feelings of bitterness and anger. In those situations where you feel your blood boiling and steam shooting out of your ears, consider that individual's background. Remind yourself they are different. They see things differently than you do. Once you take a short walk in that person's shoe, you may be more sympathetic to the situation.

Our families, friendships and day-to-day interactions with strangers need to be filled with love, not hate. These dark and depressing feelings can truly tear us down and turn us into a person we do not wish to become. Love is all you need to make a strong impact with those you care most about.


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