How to cope with the death of a grandparent - New York News

How to cope with the death of a grandparent

Updated:
By Shutterstock.com. As you comprehend this profound loss, let yourself cry knowing each tear is a note of love rising to the heavens. By Shutterstock.com. As you comprehend this profound loss, let yourself cry knowing each tear is a note of love rising to the heavens.

By: Mayra Bitsko, FamilyShare

Grandparents are an essential part of a family. They provide love, guidance and shelter. We can always count on them to listen to us from their hearts, share their wisdom and lend a shoulder to cry on when we need it most. They are the voice of reason. But once they depart, there is a void in our lives that can never be filled.

When my grandfather passed away last year, I was heartbroken - I still am. Saturdays were no longer the same. There were no more visits at the nursing home, no more exchanging hugs and kisses and no more hearing his jokes. It was hard for me to see the only father figure I had left pass away slowly. Imagine how it felt for the younger grandchildren who were with him throughout the entire process. They were affected in different ways. It was the duty of the adults to help the kids understand why grandpa had to go and help them grieve.

Children need as much support as possible from their parents or other adults. However, with the right support, they will come to understand why Grandma or Grandpa had to depart.

Here are three keys to helping your family handle a grandparent's death:

Listen. Your children may want to talk about the good times they shared with Grandma or Grandpa. As much as those stories may affect you emotionally and you can't bear to hear the stories, try your best to listen. Go along with them on the journey. Share your stories with your children as well. It's okay to smile and laugh when going down memory lane. You are only keeping the wonderful memories alive. It's okay to celebrate your grandparents.

Discuss things openly. Never ignore your children when they have questions about the deceased, such as why they had to go. There's no easy answer, but try to respond the best way you possibly can. Be gentle and honest when explaining. Try not to frighten the child. They are vulnerable. My niece and nephew had many questions and my sister calmly and carefully explained why Grandpa had to leave us.

Grieve. As a child, I didn't speak to anyone about my father's death. I was afraid to ask. I made believe I was fine. I didn't properly grieve. I thought he was coming back. If your children want to cry, give them that opportunity. If they are showing no emotions, approach them. Ask them how they are feeling. Some children hide their true emotions. Let them know it is fine to be sad, confused or cry. Don't be ashamed to grieve along with them. Losing a grandparent is like losing a parent.

Grandparents will always hold a special place in our lives. We were blessed to have a second set of parents cheering us on from the sidelines. But once they are no longer around, we can only hold on to our faith and pray for the courage to deal with the loss. They are gone, but their memories live on. They will always remain in our hearts.


Original Post

Copyright 2013 Deseret Digital Media, Inc.

  • Local NewsLocal NewsMore>>

  • Hope's Land of Candy

    Hope's Land of Candy

    Monday, September 1 2014 8:13 PM EDT2014-09-02 00:13:34 GMT
    Step through the doors of Hope's Land of Candy in Island Park, Long Island and you''ll be taking a trip back in time. There's no WIFI but they do have a Victrola piano. And then there's the candy.. lots and lots of it.
    Step through the doors of Hope's Land of Candy in Island Park, Long Island and you''ll be taking a trip back in time. There's no WIFI but they do have a Victrola piano. And then there's the candy.. lots and lots of it.
  • Subway bedbug infestations on the rise

    Subway bedbug infestations on the rise

    Monday, September 1 2014 6:48 PM EDT2014-09-01 22:48:09 GMT
    It appears the subway bedbug problem we've been reporting is getting worse. Commuters already have to contend with sweltering platforms, scurrying rats and packed train cars, and now there's another transit woe: fear of bedbugs.
    It appears the subway bedbug problem we've been reporting is getting worse. Commuters already have to contend with sweltering platforms, scurrying rats and packed train cars, and now there's another transit woe: fear of bedbugs.
  • West Indian Day Parade steps off amid shootings

    West Indian Day Parade steps off amid shootings

    Monday, September 1 2014 6:05 PM EDT2014-09-01 22:05:47 GMT
    The West Indian Day Parade is supposed to be a time of fun and excitement in celebration of Caribbean culture. However, several shootings near the parade has turned it into a day of tragedy for some.
    The West Indian Day Parade is supposed to be a time of fun and excitement in celebration of Caribbean culture. However, several shootings near the parade has turned it into a day of tragedy for some.
Powered by WorldNow
Didn't find what you were looking for?
All content © Copyright 2000 - 2014 Fox Television Stations, Inc. and Worldnow. All Rights Reserved.
Privacy Policy | New Terms of Service What's new | Ad Choices