Deleting your ex online after a breakup - New York News

Deleting your ex online after a breakup

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NEW YORK (MYFOXNY) -

When it comes to love in 2013, they say it's not official until it's "F.B.O. -- Facebook official," says TV host Chelsea Krost, 22. She knows that being "in a relationship" means pictures, videos, and personal status updates are all intertwined.

But when it goes wrong...

"That can be the most heartbreaking thing," Krost says. "When you break up with a boyfriend you go through the breakup all over again when you make that 'unofficial' on Facebook, and it's horrible."

Any breakup can be painful. Reminders online can just make it worse. So you have broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, the best advice is to wait at least 24 hours before doing anything online, including on your Facebook page. The next step? Well, that depends on if it was a mutually agreed-upon breakup or a nasty split.

"You don't want people to see the yo-yo of your relationship," says Laurie Davis, the author of "Love at First Click."

She says that if it ends well, "the first thing you should do is deal with your status. Remove it. The second thing you should do after a little bit of time is un-tag yourself from photos."

Davis says block your ex, change any shared passwords, and remove the person from any news feeds.

"It can be painful to see them and the moments of their life popping up in your screen all the time," she says.

But what if the relationship ends poorly?      

"When you close that door, it means closing that digital door and not letting them think there's a chance it will be open again," says Dr. Jeff Gardere, a clinical psychologist.

Deleting everything takes time. Several online applications, such as Killswitch, offer to help. Dr. Gardere also developed the Healthy Divorce app.

"It's over emotionally, it's over physically, and it needs to be over digitally, you just need to move on," he says.  

Krost says you should pick and choose what you want to put on Facebook, "because you never know what's going to happen in the long run, and don't make it so hard on yourself to delete 10 million pictures."

That is why she says she isn't rushing to make anything digitally official until it's truly official.

"Unless you're getting married, unless he's putting a ring on it, I don't think there's a need to put your Facebook status 'in a relationship with' whoever," Krost says.

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