Suzanne Phillips

MYFOXNY.COM - What if you treated your partner the way you treat your pet? Would that help your relationship? Our guest on Good Day NY, Suzanne Phillips, says yes.

Phillips is a psychologist in Northport, Long Island who has a blog on pysch-central called "Healing Together For Couples".

Some would express doubt or criticize the comparison of a pet with a person, but for many the idea that considering the way they love their pet offers some valuable re-assessment and ideas for enhancing their response to their partner could be a real plus in their relationship.

Do you treat your pet like this?

Greetings
No matter how you feel or what mood you are in, you greet your pet with a positive, even animated, hello and often with a display of physical affection.

Expectations
With pets, maybe it's your lack of expectation that makes the difference. You probably rarely predict that your pet will be angry if you are late. As a result, you don't head home defensively angry in preparation for the reaction you expect to face.

Holding Grudges
When you do return home to find that your cats have redecorated the room with shreds of every tissue they could find or the dog has eaten some of the mail, you may well react with a choice expletive but you are not likely to hold a grudge. You are still going to be petting Donatello or cuddling with Thor the next day.

Assuming the Best
There is a natural tendency to forgive pets their trespasses - after all, the dog wasn't trying to torture you by eating the mail. Was your partner really trying to torture you by putting it in such a safe spot it can't be found?

Acceptance
Few pet owners personalize their pets' reactions to others to an extreme that makes them so embarrassed that they fear their image is tarnished or they become resentful of their pets. The fact that the dog is licking every part of the arriving guest's body is cause to pull him away or laugh it away. The cat that will not come out of hiding or the parrot that is screeching is left without judgment or excuses. That's them!

For Better or For Worse
In most cases, pets are home to stay. People love and care for pets of every size, shape and disposition. "She's not exactly a watch dog; she's loving but easily frightened." "He insists on sleeping on the bed - we have given in." "She steals food from the other dogs, she's pretty hyper, but cute." Few pets live with the fear of being betrayed or with the implication that things are just not working out. Of course they don't - but just consider how the absence of such fears enhances the trust and connection you feel from them!

So think about what you give your pet and maybe how - in addition to improving your health - your pet can improve your relationship!